Anti-bullying / pro-Jamey Rodemeyer vigil tonight

Tonight at 7:45pm between Franklin and Main on Allen Street in Buffalo, NY, there will be a Candlelight Vigil in Memory of Jamey Rodemeyer, the 14 year old boy from Williamsville, NY who committed suicide last weekend.  At 8pm we will march down Main Street to Club Marcella for a family-friendly, alcohol-free event.

Arrive early as there has been a large response – and don’t stay home because there has been a large response.

Bring a candle and wear purple to show your support for Jamey and against bullying.

If you are on the fence regarding whether you “can” or “should” participate tonight, please take a moment and think back to what life was like for you at age 14.  Think about what your hopes and dreams were, think about what you knew (or thought you knew) about the world and think about your innocence.  Now think about Jamey and if you don’t know anything about him watch his “It Get’s Better” video.

You can see his youth, his innocence, hear his hope and guarded optimism and even though he tried to hide it, feel his pain.  This is the face of a boy who was bullied.  This is the face of a boy who cried out for help and for a time received it.  And this is the face of a boy who was buried by his parents just days ago.

This is the face of a boy who could still be alive if we as a culture were awake, didn’t ignore and took seriously the plight of boys and girls like him that live their days and nights feeling like they do not belong.  It is not an excuse to say that bullying has always existed, it always will and there is nothing that we can do about it.

We all have young people in our lives.  They may be our own children, our nieces,nephews, grandchildren, cousins, younger siblings, students, or student athletes.   We may know everything about them or barely know their name, but all of them know that if we saw them being physically assaulted that we would help them without question.

However, if they were being emotionally assaulted do they know that they could come to us for help, because we care? Do they know that if we witnessed a verbal assault that we would stand up for them without question?  Do they know that we as adults will always provide them a safe haven regardless of who they are?

Whether or not you can march with us tonight for Jamey and against bullying let us use tonight to end the culture of tolerance for bullying.   The time of passivity must be over. Beginning now, look for opportunities to stand-up for the young people in your life and stand against bullying.

If you would like to make a donation to the Rodemeyer family you may do so at any Bank of America branch c/o “Friends of Jamey Rodemeyer.”

Lewiston’s Faulring part of massive same-sex wedding celebration

Local product married Vacin on Goat Island with four dozen other couples

TIM SCHMITT – BelowTheFalls.com – MONDAY JULY 25, 2011

The running joke is whenever Sara Vacin’s parents come to Western New York, they get a chance to see her marry Lewiston native Candice Faulring.

Three trips, three weddings.

And while humor was one of the many emotions that bubbled to the surface Monday during a historic ceremony at Niagara Falls State Park, the most prominent was sheer jubilation as the duo became joined in matrimony as part of more than four dozen couples who took part in a triumphant group same-sex marriage.

The couple had previously been married in Niagara-On-The-Lake and Delaware Park. But this ceremony offered state recognition.

“There are so many things about this that were perfect,” Faulring said as she became Candice Vacin. “You have an icon in Niagara Falls. You can’t do better than that. We live close. Her parents happened to be in town. And it all came together, without much thought. That made it even better.”

Couples from across the state as well as from Arkansas, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Southern Ontario to take part in the event on Goat Island. Hundreds of guests and a pack of media were on hand for the event as well. Same-sex marriage became legal in New York State under the Marriage Equality Act, which was passed on June 24 by the New York State Legislature and signed by Governor Andrew Cuomo later the same day.

“I love what (Cuomo) said yesterday — this is not about being in a civil union, it’s about being married. Just like any other person,” said Sara Vacin, a native of the Baltimore, Md., area, but a longtime resident of Western New York.

“We’ve been lucky to have wonderful responses from everyone we’ve come across. Wonderful, very excited, absolutely accepting responses.”

And although the couple married in Ontario last summer, they were eager to take part in Monday’s celebration, which

“Ideally, last year would’ve been best. That was when we were getting married. I thought last year marriage equality would pass. And it didn’t,” said Faulring, who works for Geneseo Community College, and previously taught at Niagara University. “In my office, I have the list of senators, highlighted, that voted no. And I looked at it every day. It was so disappointing to not be able to legally do that here in Western New York.”

Next on the couple’s to-do list is a planned pregnancy this fall. Faulring took Vacin’s name because the latter intends to carry a child. Also, the couple is considering adopting.

“(People) associate marriage with religion. But this is a legal contract. People often get mixed up with that. It’s about recognition. It’s about validity. It’s about equality,” Faulring said. “We don’t have a choice. We love each other. And now, it’s official.”

Same-sex couples say “I do” at Falls | WIVB.com

Same-sex couples say “I do” at Falls | WIVB.com.

Dozens of Same-Sex Couples Marry at Niagara Falls : Photo Galleries : The Buffalo News

Dozens of Same-Sex Couples Marry at Niagara Falls : Photo Galleries : The Buffalo News.

Dozens of Same-Sex Couples Marry at Niagara Falls : Photo Galleries : The Buffalo News

Dozens of Same-Sex Couples Marry at Niagara Falls : Photo Galleries : The Buffalo News.

My wife and I will make history today in New York!

Today at 10am on Goat Island, overlooking Niagara Falls my wife and I will become legally married as we participate in a group marriage celebration before family, friends and history.

Another open letter to Senator Mark Grisanti

CANDICE S. FAULRING – June 29, 2011

Dear Senator Grisanti,

Thank you.

I do not know if you understand the profound impact that your vote has had and will have on gays, lesbians and allies in our district, our state and yes even in our country.  I am not about to give you the results of a push-poll or the transcript of a Q & A session I had with experts and pundits on the matter of marriage equality.  No, I am going to try to help you understand the profound impact of your vote by attempting to find the words that describe how differently I felt when I awoke on June 25^th the morning after the vote.

I am a lesbian. I was raised in an extremely religious conservative family.  When I realized I was gay I lost every single person in my life save a few.  When I say lost, I mean I literally had to say goodbye to all of my best friends and to much of my family.

When I went off to college I did not have a single friend.  It was like I had no history.  Since that time, whenever new people come into my life, I spend time assessing when (if at all) I can tell them who I truly am.  In my professional life, you wouldn’t believe the things I have heard, everything from, “you really need to turn down the gay” to advice on how I “can still be saved.”

When I met my wife (we were married in Canada) it only complicated what to most people are very simple, harmless, inconsequential even introductions and self-descriptions.  The idea that for most of my life I have had to be on the alert, careful, considerate of other people’s feelings, when disclosing something that to most people needs no disclosure.  The idea that my heart raced, facial expressions were assessed and I always had a joke ready incase I needed to quickly deflect, when mentioning my girlfriend and now wife.  These are just some of the minor added considerations that take up cognitive and emotional space for gays and lesbians often on a daily basis.

But Senator, I am an adult, and most people that know me would agree that I don’t have a problem speaking my mind, and being assertive when necessary.  What I mean is, I can take care of myself.  But it’s the many young people that I see, who are not as confident, and do not have the cognitive maturity and emotional strength to deal with daily scrutiny that I think about, when considering the impact of your vote.  Your vote helped make things so much better for them and their future.

For all of the positive things you are hearing about your vote I am sure that you are also hearing from the other side with some consistency, and you may take a political hit for this – it is possible that this vote may cost you your reelection bid in 2012.  But, Senator Grisanti even if your real reason for voting this way was about politics – and it back fires – and you do not get re-elected, we all know that this vote was not about politics.  This vote was about loving couples that have been together 30, 40, and 50 years without being recognized by the state.  This vote was about families just like yours who worried that their unequal status would leave the non-biological parent or their children without protections.  This vote was about couples newly in love, who just want to celebrate their love before family and friends in a legally recognized ceremony.  And most importantly, this vote is about the gay and lesbian young people today and tomorrow. This vote, your vote was for them, so that they never have to feel like I and the thousands of other gay and lesbian individuals have for so many years.

Senator Grisanti, you are a hero, I hope this letter helps you recognize this.

Thank you.

Historic Times! – Pride 2011 – New York City

I know I wish I was in NYC to celebrate Pride and watch the parade during this momentous time.  If you are like me but can’t be there you can watch the 2011 Pride Parade live here or here.

Happy Pride!!!

Thank you Governor Cuomo

History made in NYS!!!

BREAKING: MARRIAGE EQUALITY PASSES IN NYS 33-29!!!!!!  Celebrations erupt in the Senate gallery!

Breaking: Vote on Marriage Amendment 26-36 the bill is passed! Still need to pass the full legislation.

BREAKING: 9:15pm Just heard Marriage Equality Vote will not go through the Rules committee and will go straight to the floor. Senators on there way back into the chamber. Watch here.

9:02pm Vote on Marriage Equality Act when Senate reconvenes. Listen for “Senate Bill 5857.” No sponsor; comes out of Rules Committee, a/k/a “Senator Rules.”

8:49pm First of 2 taxicab bills passes 40-21. Second was laid aside. Next on the docket is the vote for Marriage Equality.

8:40pm The “big ugly” just passed 57-5. Two down two to go before a vote on the Marriage Equality Act.

7:55pm Amendments to the marriage equality act pass in the assembly 82-48, followed by applause.

7:38pm UB 2020 passes – 1 bill down 3 to go. Next property tax cap, then 2 votes on taxicabs in NYC.

7:14pm Senate says four bills on agenda, then committee meeting before vote on Marriage Equality; the debating on the four bills likely to go on for awhile.

6:23pm Senate is in Session watch live here.

5:39pm Confirmed by Majority Leader Skelos – Marriage Equality Act will be voted on tonight. The issue now is when…first has to pass through the Rules committee. Click here for Majority Leader Skelos statement.

5:28pm BREAKING: New York Times Albany reporter says source says Marriage Equality Act coming to floor – there will be a vote.

5:24pm Getting word Senate finished conferencing will have a Rules committee meeting then gavel in full Senate. Senators making way into chamber – only GOP members no Dems yet.

5:06pm NYers United for Marriage (Human Rights Campaign, Empire State Pride Agenda, Freedom to Marry, NY Equal Marriage, and Log Cabin Republicans) endorse religious exemptions language.

5:00pm Here is some of the “religious exemption” language: “A religious entity…shall not be required to provide services, accommodations, advantages, facilities, goods, or privileges for the solemnization or celebration of a marriage.”

4:48pm To see the the NYAssembly amendment to the Marriage Equality legislation click here.

4:44pm Have heard from 3 different sources rumors about a Senate leadership shake-up.

4:31pm The omnibus bill aka “the big ugly” has been released. Click here for part 1 and here for part 2.

4:14pm Albany leaders have reached an agreement on religious exemption language in the Marriage Equality Act. The question that remains is will there be a vote?

Click here for the full story.

Hurry up and wait

(Scroll down for updates.)

That’s what this week has felt like to the thousands of people watching the NYS Legislature. On the agenda are major pieces of legislation that will impact SUNY tuition, rent in NYC and property taxes throughout the State, yet for many these issues have been overshadowed by one controversial piece of legislation, “The Marriage Equality Act.” This legislation would extend civil marriage rights to same-sex couples.

Click here to read the bill memo introduced by the governor on June 14.

Click here to read the original draft of the bill.

Click here to read the legislation passed by the Assembly on June 15.

As I write this, I am waiting for the Senate to gavel in. They were scheduled to begin today’s legislative session at 10am, it is currently 11:28am.

I just had word that the Senate Republicans have sent Jr. staff out of the conference. This typically happens when controversial bills are being discussed and/or to control leaks.

11:34am Opponents of marriage equality overheard, “We’re being outnumbered, we’ve got to get people down here quick.”

11:40am “Big ugly” and SUNY housing bills being printed. Should expect them in about an hour.

11:50am One Republican senator says conference has not yet seen religious exemption language and is waiting on that and other bill copy.

11:58am Conservative Chairman Mike Long: No Religious exemption “carve outs” will make gay marriage bill acceptable to the New York State Conservative Party. This is not a surprise, however, Long had a hard time explaining to Fred Dicker why the Conservative party is so against Marriage Equality when they went against their party platform to support pro-choice candidates like Pataki. Hypocrisy Fred, that’s the answer. (Oh and money too.)

12:32pm Senate source: “We may be calling it a day and returning Monday. Will know in the next hr or two.”

12:39pm Pro marriage folks singing, “Goin’ to the chapel and we’re gonna get married.”
Anti-marriage folks chanting, “One man, one woman, one god.”

1:00pm Planet Albany: “Bill is printing” = stalling tactic
“Should come up for a vote by the days end.” = we should get to it before summer’s end.

1:23pm Source: Senators still in conference have not discussed marriage equality – focus has been on mandate relief.

1:37pm NY Archbishop Dolan on the fight against marriage equality: “It’s a real David and Goliath battle. I know that the governor [Andrew Cuomo] — I mean he’s a shrewd politician, and I have to say that with a certain amount of envy and admiration — but you talk about twisting arms, you talk about using every political tool in the book, he’s doing it and he’s doing it effectively.
I’m particularly upset that they seem to have been successful in reducing this to a matter of gay rights, where it has nothing to do with it.

They talk about bullying? I haven’t seen anybody on our side resort to name-calling or threats, but Lord knows they’ve been bullying us.

Sometimes we are dismissed as these chicken littles, who, you know, they say “Why are you so scared?” I say, “Well, you remember Roe v. Wade? Pro-lifers stood up and said ‘Mark my words, this is going to lead to infanticide.’ And they laughed at us and said ‘How paranoid can you get?’ And of course it’s true.” You’d like to get a big microphone and yell out, “We told you so.”
And that’s what’s going to happen here. You think it’s going to stop with this? You think now bigamists are going to want their rights to marry? You think somebody that wants to marry his sister is going to now say “I have a right. I mean it’s the same principle, isn’t it?”

Click here to read the full article.

1:40pm Robach: senate GOP conference is “taking a little break” and plan to try to finish everything today.

1:54pm Hearing conflicting reports that the language for the marriage equality bill has been discussed/about to be discussed/being discussed. Shelly Silver believes his house will complete their work by the end of the day. (Still a bit ambiguous – however he is an Orthodox Jew and the Assembly typically does not meet during Shabbos which would begin at sundown tonight.)

2:24pm The National Organization for Marriage (an anti-gay-marriage group) Just tweeted this: “THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU,” says former top sports anchor fired for backing traditional #marriage. @NO4M #TCOT http://4rd.ca/aaaiPY” To which I replied: “Listen @nomtweets GLBT people can be fired in 28 states just for being GLBT and that’s not right either.

2:28pm Cuomo spokesperson confirms that all bills are being printed, hopefully “all” includes the Marriage Equality Act.

Albany press corps dropping like flies. Hour 5 of waiting for Skelos in same spot!

3:09pm Still waiting. Watching crazy Rep. Steve King R-Iowa on CSPAN.

3:12pm Just saw an interesting tweet from Roger Stone, “Many NO votes on SSM in the NY GOP SEN Caucus are FOR an up or down vote on SSM. A vote means SSM will win.”
Not sure if he’s trying to nudge one side or the other…

3:30pm You know the debate is sinking when Gawker enters into it.

4:04pm Received word from Democratic Senate Conference that they are receiving legislation and will know more about whether Marriage Equality Act is included in it after they conference @4pm I believe.

4:11pm Senate spokesman says we’ll know tonight whether they’ll take up marriage; conferencing it and other issues now. Confirmed that both houses have received “big ugly” (legislation that includes rent control, tax cap/mandate relief, etc.)

4:14pm Senate spokesperson also says they are deep in Marriage Equality debate. Since marriage equality was to be the VERY LAST issue discussed they should gavel in as soon as they finish.